Hey Everyone! Welcome to LouisaTravels for this Edinburgh themed post. This will be the first post concerning Edinburgh in what will be a long stream of posts, mainly focused on the Fringe Festival…
I’d just like to highlight an interview I’ve done on my new site, LouisaTravels, so check it out! She’s a really cool photographer and the interview is worth a look!
I haven’t posted on here since February, but I am in the process of launching a new blog site which will focus on developing my travel writing.
Here’s a link to it!
Thanks, and hope you guys check it out!
I didn’t really have much time to make a decent post yesterday, so I left it all for today instead. Yesterday I went to Church for the first time in almost ever on a Sunday for an actually proper and official service. It wasn’t exactly my cup of tea, but the people were really nice, so although I won’t be going again, I did meet some nice and generally friendly people. The rest of the day was pretty much dedicated to writing up my Policy Essay, which I can now say I’ve done about half of, and I still have another week or so to do it in, so it should all be okay (I hope!).
Today I’ve just been swamped with campaigning for my University’s student elections, as one of my friends is currently running for the FXU Exeter President role, so yeah, a really important role and a generally big deal. But yeah, life’s feeling good at the moment, despite the fact I’m feeling a bit low due to circumstances outside of my control, which I won’t discuss here, but hey, at least I still feel I can get on with my day. I’ve got swimming later, which always gets me in a good mood, so officially I’m supposed to be working on my academic work until then, but the procrastination force is strong today!
One thing I’d just love to say about yesterday is that I walked to the end of town to get food from the only shop left open in Falmouth on a Sunday evening, and I bought the dreaded bad food, which I notoriously binge on when I’m feeling low, as I was last night. Fortunately, when I got home, after much mental debate, I gave it up to my housemates, and did not succumb to my feelings of despair through just consuming sugar. I think the buying of it in itself was enough for me to feel like I’d taken some sort of action over my low feelings, so I didn’t really need to engage in the physically destructive process of binge eating on bad foods. That’s not to say I don’t ever eat unhealthy foods, like I literally had a takeaway of chicken and chips like three days ago, but it’s just the reasons I go to this sort of food which needs to be held to account at the moment. Finding solace in food when you’re feeling low is never the best way to go about feelings of despair, and I’m trying to rectify this as much as I can.
But yeah, those are the main things I just wanted to say for today. Hopefully over the duration of this week I’ll be able to write about other things than my mental state, as I’m feeling more confident and normal within myself today. But these types of posts will hopefully emerge in the future whenever I feel particularly low again, as a sort of healing process for myself, rather than turning to unhealthy habits and hiding away from my friends and family. So until we see each other again!
Here’s a song which I’ve been listening to quite a bit recently, I just love it, it’s jazzy! I’m forever lovin’ that sweet harmonica sound!
(Image from nscl.org).
So how was I doing yesterday? I was okay. I didn’t get any work done but I did go to my University’s AGM, and I did go swimming again in the evening. Yet something new happened to my mood which I haven’t experienced recently. I just had so much energy I was jumping off the walls, and although I kind of prefer this to panicky depression, it’s still not me.
When I am this hyper energetic, I am literally far more impulsive than I ever am usually, and I often forget to eat, which, when I suddenly crashed on my way to swimming last night, may be the poor after-effects of this hyper, impulsive attitude. Luckily I slept pretty much like a log last night, only to wake up at about 7am from a kind of semi-nightmare. But although the nightmare wasn’t exactly pleasant, I haven’t actually woken up at 7am for a while and actually felt pretty awake, like I could function like a proper adult. I know this may seem weirdly early for must other students of my age, but it’s the time I’ve always woken up since I’ve been a kid, and it’s weird that over the last month or so, I’ve found it so difficult to pull myself out of bed even at 9am.
And that’s where I left this monologue when one of my friends arrived, as we were heading out to the Bottle Match at the Penryn Rugby Club, where it was CSM vs Imperial. CSM brilliantly won, I think the end score was something like 17-5, and everyone rushed the pitch at the end – absolutely magic!
It definitely cheered me up a lot, as I got to talk with people I haven’t really seen much of since Uni work started getting more demanding, and it was great to have one of my good friends there too. I know I’ve still got a bit of time till I start feeling completely normal again, but I think certain things are starting to come my way, and come good, which is good for my confidence in myself if nothing else.
And this song is mainly indicative of my relationship with my mental and physical state at the moment, although it’s probably more relevant to getting over a messy relationship with someone else. But anyway, over and out for tonight!
(Image/Artwork by Sheetal Bhardwaj)
I was supposed to do another post last night, but I just didn’t get round to it, as my bed was so inviting. But I did write down a couple of things I wanted to put up, so here it all is.
Although yesterday was a lot better than the days I’d had to deal with before, I still had flashes of how difficult it is to keep on the straight and narrow when you’re feeling ill. You know, making sure you get enough sleep, eat the right foods, get enough exercise, do enough work. I mean, I think it can all be a bit of a hassle, but when I’m unwell, it feels near on impossible.
But yesterday I did do pretty well, which I wasn’t exactly expecting. I had breakfast, and it wasn’t a deadly unhealthy one either, just toast and fruit (and of course, tea). I then had to go up to Campus to drop off some money from the swimming sessions which I go to three times a week (the money is from the people who come with us on the minibus to the local pool, as it’s about a 20 mins drive away, so we need some help covering fuel and all that jazz). I was pretty close in just deciding not to head up, as I was still feeling fatigued and bad-tempered, especially as I saw two buses go past as I was walking to the bus stop. Fortunately one of my flatmates suddenly appeared, which stopped me from throwing in the towel for the whole day.
So I gave in the money, and headed back home pretty immediately, and proceeded to watching and re-watching cheesy movies for a couple of hours. Not a good sign right? But hey, get this, after these two hours, I actually started work on an essay for my Energy Policy Module, and I actually did some decent and concentrated work for about an hour or so on it. I felt amazing after this, as I haven’t been able to concentrate and get so much decent work done in days, and I hope this improves more and more in the days which follow.
In the evening, I also went on a jog with one of my friends, where we managed to run about 1.8 miles, with a bit of a break in the middle, as well as running a bit uphill which was definitely a step up from the last time we ran together last Thursday. And the best part about this was that, as I woke up this morning, I did not feel as terrible as I did after jogging last week. I actually feel good, despite a bit achy in places. But hey, I have swimming tonight which will hopefully get my muscles all working properly again.
I’d just like to finish with one important aspect of my day yesterday. As I was getting ready for bed, I was pretty nervy, as there are some things I need to sort out for a Swimming competition for the club, which, through certain circumstances, has not worked out exactly as I predicted at the beginning of the week. It’s just a bit of a weight on my mind, and it certainly kept me up a bit last night, but as I could do no more about it than what I’ve already done, what more could I do?
I think that’s an important lesson to learn, that I will always try to do my best with the circumstances I’m given, but some circumstances and things which come my way may just be more difficult than others. And I can’t let that get me down too much, I just have to try to keep going in whatever way that I can.
This is the song I’ve been listening to as I’ve written up this post, and I definitely think it conveys a similar message to what I’m trying to say here: Don’t be afraid to step outside of yourself and make the changes necessary for you to be happy again.
(Artwork by ‘Art Roy Remy’)
This is a slightly more depressing post than yesterday, but I hope to end on a slightly optimistic note.
Recently, I’ve been feeling depressed and just generally under the weather. Because of this, I have done barely any work, which isn’t great, as I have 2 deadlines for the end of the month, as well as my dissertation to write.
So, as a coping mechanism for all of these factors, I have taken to eating the worst types of food, which has just left me feeling even worse, yet it’s a cycle I feel really trapped in at the moment. So I’m just trying to figure out the best ways to be able to get out of this rut I’ve been stuck in. Or just any way to get myself out, to be perfectly honest. As a result, I have also got two numb fingers, which just reminds me that my habits at the moment are probably not the most healthy.
I think I’m going to go on a walk now, as I just need to get out of my own head for a while, and I’ve always found exercise and all that jazz is probably the best way to do this. I’ve barely eaten anything today, so I don’t know how far I’d be able to walk, but I know it’s probably time for me to just get outside and do something, rather than watching the same old rubbishy films on Netflix and just generally wasting my time.
Another thing I’ve done recently is give up music playing, just because I didn’t feel like I could commit to it at the moment. Yet it’s left me feeling like I’ve lost a huge part of myself, despite the fact that I know I’ll be able to come back to it. I miss it like a drug, but I think it’s necessary for the moment, to be able to think about the things I need to change about my general lifestyle. Because there are a lot of changes to make, and I think this is just the hard part, and it will hopefully get easier. And then I aim to be able to get back to playing music as much as I used to, hopefully with a healthier lifestyle to fall back on.
So I’ll just end this with a song I’d eventually love to be able to play with a huge band of musicians! I can just imagine how awesome it’d be 🙂
(Artwork on this post by Justin Cherry!)